A couple of weeks ago I was venturing the crazy but plausible idea that there are probably good reasons to be in a couple. As I fell into this trap almost one year ago, I'm convinced there are excellent reasons for this.
Before being able to quote them, like before being able to live them, I believe there's a certain amount of stages to pass. And among those, the fact that it's vital to know how to feel good when living alone.
Yes, because why bothering going out with someone if we're not able to like ourselves ?
How can we be happy with someone if we cannot be happy on our own ? The aim is to share happiness with somebody, not to entrust somebody to take care of our happiness and wellbeing. Otherwise it would come to give someone a crystal ball begging him/her not to drop it. It can't work, it just can't !
Sometimes we dream about someone hoping he/she's going to save us, to make us rise, to make us escape our own reality; and then, once we think we found this "someone", we realize he/she's just human after all. Not a superheroe. Then it's disappointment and break-up. Yet, it wasn't his/her job, apart from us, nobody is going to do the job to be happy and feel good.
- Copyright Formento & Formento -
This phenomenon often leads to a paradox, a neurosis proper to human being: single people want to be a couple, and couples envy the single life. Jeremy is dreaming of a sweet and cute little girlfriend waiting for him in his appartment in front of TV like "Paul's girlfriend", and Paul is dreaming of flirting nights and Tinder plans because there is no routine in this kind of things.
There is a chinese quotation saying that "marriage is like a besieged city; the ones outside want to come in, and the ones inside want to go out". Well I think sometimes there's no need to be married to think this way, being in a couple is enough to fit the metaphor.
Why do we always want what we don't have, particularly in this field ? By the way, is it something we envy or something we desire ? To me, the idea of something we envy is more linked to impulse, instinct, to quick consumption, rather than something we desire which seems deeper, more visceral... Maybe we have to start looking for an answer in this field...
People who are in a couple think once they're involved in the relationship, they won't be able to enjoy the dizzy and flighty side of single life. And single people despair and feel like they'll never find anyone to build something with.
Therefore, human beings would be unsatisfied animals unable to decide between several frustrations, as said the cynic french writter Beigbeder: living alone consuming pseudo-relationships on temporary basis, experiencing frustration of loneliness that comes along single life, or being in a couple sharing everything (or almost everything) with someone we chose, experiencing frustration of not being allowed to live alone and what comes along it...
PS: There are for sure people happy and satisfied with their situations too.
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