SHALL WE ?

What now ?

As I've been talking [writing] about single life and wondering about why being single or being in a couple, I'm now going to talk about what to do...

Once we managed to:

- feel good being alone

- clearly know what we want - or at least, what we don't want

- know what we expect of a serious relationship

- feel ready to get involved in one 

We are almost able to forget that:

In a society where a subscription to the gym happens to be a much more long-lasting commitment than a relationship that works, it may be normal to rather spend a monthly amount of 50€ - be in great shape and multiply dates without expecting anything of them - than spend a huge amount of time and energy trying to make a relationship (that may not result positive) work. Because at least at the gym when the subscription ends, we have muscular abs and ass.

But let's take this problem the other way around:

Let's admit it; it's always a nightmare to quit the gym. Actually, it's much more complicated than ending a relationship. There's always something like a two-months notice, a recorded letter, blablabla.

With a shitty relationship, if it doesn't work... well it just doesn't, end of the story - if we disregard the relationships when you see your ex again, after the break-up.

- Copyright Slim Aarons -

So let's try to make it, in a serious relationship (if - of course - we see an opportunity).

Easier said than done - we agree.

But it's funny to see how something that used to scare you or something that used to not to get you interested can suddenly become something very easy to do. If you've met someone that suits you, it's probably normal. I guess.

We would think it's complicated to "settle down", live with someone we ignore his/her way of life, but it's not that complicated. If he/she suits you, I think it's just something natural.compatible.

Well, okay, there are some inevitable stuff we may wonder about once we've moved in with our "dear and beloved half":

I'm thinking of...

"Oh my, we're gonna be like every evening together ? What are we gonna do ?" -- Well, you don't know, the relationship may stop tomorrow.

"Okay so is there something like a schedule or a timetable for cleaning ? cooking ? doing laundry ?" -- Actually, your dear and beloved half is not a roommate. And your couple is not a company either.

"And what about grocery shopping ?" -- It's the exact same thing sweetheart.

"What about my single life's habits ?" -- Well if you're a girl, you probably won't sing Mariah Carey/J-Lo/this-kind-of-diva while cleaning the appartment. And if you're a guy, you'll probably have fewer pizza-beer/Burger King meals a week/month. 

"What about my wax depilation ? I have to wait three weeks before the appointment... That's not cool and absolutely NOT SEXY." -- Yes, you'll have to learn to be loved as you really are. And this includes being (a bit) hairy sometimes (if you refuse to shave). But "being loved as you really are" may also include singing Mariah Carey. Yay.

"Do I have to suffer the all "before/during periods moods" ?" -- Oh-oh yes my friend, and it's just a beginning. You can still try to understand if there is really something going wrong and let it go if it's objectively senseless. You'll learn not to listen, and you'll find peace, I promise.

As well as I think a human being isn't made to live a lifetime on his own, I think he needs his times of loneliness, and he needs these moments of loneliness to do not always occur at set and regular times.

These moments seem vital to preserve intimacy, desire and mystery, and those three "ingredients" will create an interesting relationship where sharing and communication will probably be king.