1 + 1 = 3

A Weird Equation...

What scares/slows us to live as a couple ?

That commitment would be synonymous of losing freedom ?

Personally, I've never been a huge fan of the all commitment thing, and I loved making the choice of living on my own and I completely accepted it. Yet, when I met someone and when the "commitment door" opened, I dived into it without realizing I was.

Where the fuck were my reason and mind at this time ? Present or too busy choosing the "perfect outfit" to seduce him during dinner at the restaurant ? I don't know. And today I'm walking on the other side of the road. The one with all the couples.

Lots of people think that living as a couple means losing our freedom.

I think they're mistaken. Completely. Although, I understand where does the fear come from.

What scares us is to become 1, forget ourselves. To forget our own identity, to become just a couple, at the cost of two distinct identities. And therefore, to forget we can still live things on our own, without the so-called soulmate/half/alter-ego. The implicite scary idea is that the love story we're in may last for a long time, like a lifetime or something like that. We imagine we're going to miss some stuff. But what could we miss ? We have absolutely no idea; so that's absurd.

However, we have to keep paying attention because there are two kinds of not-to-become couples (and those two kinds can often get mixed up): 

- The one when the man/woman absolutely loves and approves everything the woman/man does/loves because he/she loves her/him. She'd come back from the hairdresser with a ridiculous hairstyle and he'd say "no sweetheart, I swear I love it. It's easy if you love it, I love it." -- OMG, SHUT UP !!

- The one called "WE", when both partners only speak with the first person plural. Both of them can't consider themselves as an individual and henceforth only exist as a couple: "We did this", "We loved that" -- OMFG, KILL ME NOW !!

Why couldn't we preserve the wealth of difference of opinion, of points of view that "being a couple" offers ? Why, on the pretext that we're living together, should we combine our opinions to only make one in the eyes of others ? To show that we're well and truly close and that we come together as one ?

That's impossible, it'd be too stupid. And yet, I believe that most of the couples of our society fell into this trap, because a couple is only real in the eyes of others. It is real only if, in front of it, there is someone to testify its realness.

- Copyright Slim Aarons -

So, being with someone to come together as one, okay, but as long as we remind that before all, we are unique. Well before being united to someone.

We can love someone but don't be silly or blind !

Let's shade the "I'll love you till death do us part, no matter what happens blablabla", please !

Let's dare the honesty of "I love you, it's wonderful but don't get carried away, let's wait and see..." [No ? Am I too cynical ?!]

I'm not going to give you all the exemples but if one day one of the partners becomes disabled, we have to admit that it may be problematic and it's the kind of thing that requires hell of a strength to cope and live with it over time...!

I'm just asking for a little less hypocrisy in that dream:

Women version: "Honey, let me get sure you won't become a first-class homebody, a beer in one hand (and the belly that comes with it) in front of TV, because I may crave the 25-year-old digital marketing intern if you do"

Men version: "Sweetie, you were tremendously beautiful when you were pregnant, and maternity suits you down to the ground but now you gave birth, maybe you could try Pilates, couldn't you ? I'm just saying because my young secretary subscribed recently and it looks pretty cool..."

I feel like if we can find someone to say this to, and stay with him/her, the relationship will be healthy... And it seems like it's a good start... don't you think ?

BIO(TI)FUEL

Big step for the entire world...

New energy sources are finally existing ! 

It's in Spain that this treasure was found/realized thanks to algae and a process transforming significant quantities of CO2 into bio-crude oil by the company Bio Fuel Systems (BFS). It's the result of "an engineering idea followed by a research project developped over 3 years by a team of engineers and scientists in colaboration with the universities of Alicante and Valencia."

This process is an accelerated conversion of CO2 into energy through solar energy, photosynthesis, the eletromagnetic field and a powerful catalisation process. It realizes in a few hours what nature took millions of years to produce. 

It is a huge advance into the field of renewable energies because most of them usually have to cope with two problems: low power density and intermittence.

Some of us can even call it a revolution because it's reducing CO2 emissions (by saving what we produce), and achieving for every cubic meter of water the energy equivalent of one million cubic meter of sea water. Which means more respectful techniques regarding the environment: less CO2 emissions therefore less greenhouse effect therefore less global climate change and more stability, more protection of nature, particularly oceans and their animals because of less and less looking-for-fuel actions (e.g. the Arctic Ocean and polar bears).

Yes, J.R. Ewing can go back where he came from, his business is outdated. 

To learn more about this long-lasting, respectful and easy-to-produce process: this is the BFS website.

ESFoundation

ELISA SEDNAOUI FOUNDATION

You probably know - or heard about - Elisa Sednaoui as a fashion model and/or actress.

Well, two years ago, this talented and inspired woman founded Elisa Sednaoui Foundation (ESF) a NPO to promote creative learning and cultural exchange with children. 

Thanks to her son, Elisa got a better understanding of the issues children can have. She realized how it's important for them to follow their dreams and that's why she wants them to be able to freely express themselves, telling what they think, what they wish, how they feel about the things they experience... in a creative and open way.

ESF is about creating projects (centers, workshops...) that enrich personal and educational development of worldwide children. These projects are based on innovation and creativity but also on sharing and exchanging culture and traditions.

Every child should have access to culture and should be able to express creatively to develop his personal skills and state of being.

- Copyright M&R AroundTheWorld - 

In 2013, 30,9 million girls and 28,4 million boys did not attend school. 

For the luckiest children of developing countries who are able to attend school, they do not have time to interact, play and share moments with others after school because of heavy tasks and responsibilities waiting for them at home.

They just don't have time to think about what would make them happy, what would make them get away even for a few minutes. And it's unfair because they're just children. Playing and sharing actually is the only thing they should think of, to grow up and blossom.

ESF makes it possible for those children. It gives them back imagination, hope and opportunities to develop and grow educationally and personally.

Creative learning, in any of its kinds, is really positive for children and young people. It fosters open-mind, acceptance (and self-acceptance) and it allows kids to express themselves and understand others. It provides them a sense of community and sharing that are essential to make them good citizens of the world.

The first project took place in Egypt (in Luxor), where Elisa Sednaoui grew up.

The aim of this pilot project is "to build an environmentally sustainable community cultural centre in the heart of Luxor’s West Bank, where her father built her family home over thirty years ago. The initial focus of the project will be to provide after-school activities for children and young people in the community."

The next one is taking place in Italy...

To know more about this wonderful Foundation and its projects and make a donation, find them here and follow them there.

(UN)SATISFIED ?

A couple of weeks ago I was venturing the crazy but plausible idea that there are probably good reasons to be in a couple. As I fell into this trap almost one year ago, I'm convinced there are excellent reasons for this.

Before being able to quote them, like before being able to live them, I believe there's a certain amount of stages to pass. And among those, the fact that it's vital to know how to feel good when living alone.

Yes, because why bothering going out with someone if we're not able to like ourselves ?

How can we be happy with someone if we cannot be happy on our own ? The aim is to share happiness with somebody, not to entrust somebody to take care of our happiness and wellbeing. Otherwise it would come to give someone a crystal ball begging him/her not to drop it. It can't work, it just can't !

Sometimes we dream about someone hoping he/she's going to save us, to make us rise, to make us escape our own reality; and then, once we think we found this "someone", we realize he/she's just human after all. Not a superheroe. Then it's disappointment and break-up. Yet, it wasn't his/her job, apart from us, nobody is going to do the job to be happy and feel good.

- Copyright Formento & Formento -

This phenomenon often leads to a paradox, a neurosis proper to human being: single people want to be a couple, and couples envy the single life. Jeremy is dreaming of a sweet and cute little girlfriend waiting for him in his appartment in front of TV like "Paul's girlfriend", and Paul is dreaming of flirting nights and Tinder plans because there is no routine in this kind of things.

There is a chinese quotation saying that "marriage is like a besieged city; the ones outside want to come in, and the ones inside want to go out". Well I think sometimes there's no need to be married to think this way, being in a couple is enough to fit the metaphor.

Why do we always want what we don't have, particularly in this field ? By the way, is it something we envy or something we desire ? To me, the idea of something we envy is more linked to impulse, instinct, to quick consumption, rather than something we desire which seems deeper, more visceral... Maybe we have to start looking for an answer in this field...

People who are in a couple think once they're involved in the relationship, they won't be able to enjoy the dizzy and flighty side of single life. And single people despair and feel like they'll never find anyone to build something with.

Therefore, human beings would be unsatisfied animals unable to decide between several frustrations, as said the cynic french writter Beigbeder: living alone consuming pseudo-relationships on temporary basis, experiencing frustration of loneliness that comes along single life, or being in a couple sharing everything (or almost everything) with someone we chose, experiencing frustration of not being allowed to live alone and what comes along it...

PS: There are for sure people happy and satisfied with their situations too.

ELLIOT FOR WATER

Today I'm introducing an original and oh-so-useful concept...

ELLIOT FOR WATER

Elliot For Water is "the first search engine that gives the possibility to its users to help the people in need of drinkable water". 

Its aim is clearly to make our web wanderings/researches U S E F U L.

When I heard about this project I instantly thought "Oh my god, why nobody did it earlier, that's fucking awesome !!". And I installed it on my computer.

We're living in such a way we forget that what we drink, what allows us to cook, to shower/wash our hands/teeth, to pee (and more), to laundry and so on, is something precious and invaluable.

- Copyright The Endorphin Company -

Every year 2,6 million people die because they do not have access to clean water, which is more than 7 thousand people everyday. Half of these victims are less than 15 years old. 

They all die because of water-related diseases.
A study made by "Solidarités International" NGO states that 3,5 billion people drink unsafe water everyday and 1 billion people do not have any toilet. Around 272 million days of school per year are missed (especially by young girls having periods) because of the lack of infrastructures allowing them to go to the bathroom, and it seriously impacts on their education.

In our daily life we tend to forget all the issues that result from unsafe water and lack of water infrastructures, but it goes from health to education.

That's why Elliot For Water is here. To remind us that we can act, even just from behind our screen when we are surfing the Internet.

"Elliot For Water donates 70% of its profits to buy Solwa Technologies*, solar energy based products that purify dirty or polluted water through desalination, the irrigation of arid grounds, and the dehydration of food. [They] will also take care of the primary necessities of the villages in which this technology will be implemented."

*an Italian company working with solar energy

To learn more about this wonderful search engine, help it to grow and start saving lives, let's go to their page, and install it.

It's one thing to realize our planet and people living on it are in trouble, It's another to act consciously and sustainably for it.

Elliot For Water is therefore a great opportunity for everyone of us. Let's start acting !

FROZEN YOGURT

Yummy and healthy recipe...

40°C in Spain today !

I thought it was a good day to try a frozen yogurt recipe.

I'm crazy about frozen yogurts: they're resfreshing, healthy and tasty (only if you use healthy ingredients, of course). And they can easily replace a meal in summer.

- Coloured jars from Tiger - 

Ingredients for 2:

1 bottle of fat-free drinkable yogurt (strawberry flavor in this recipe)
2 fat-free plain yogurt
Cookies (gluten free here)
1 mango
1 peach
1 kiwi
1 pineapple


Directions:

Mix drinkable yogurt and plain yogurt until it becomes homogenous
Pour it into the bottom of your glasses
Put them in a freezer
Mash the cookies
Cut all fruits in pieces
Once the yogurt is frozen:
Put the cookies
And the fruits making "floors"

You can eat it right away if you want to or you can put glasses back in the freezer to get frozen fruits too and eat it later.

You can choose any kind of fruits and you can also replace cookies by cereals or nothing at all. At your convenience ! 

I hope you'll enjoy it...

SUMMER READING

Stay Close, Harlan Coben

This book has spent one year on my shelf before I read it.

I kind of forgot I bought it. Then I moved from Paris to Spain and it travelled with me.

When summer comes I'm always looking for great novels that get me away.

I'm always looking for novels that absorb me, that make me say "yes, wait a minute, I really gotta finish reading this paragraph", because the plot is just amazing. Maybe that's because I really like literature (in all its shapes) but I love the feeling this kind of books provides.

I discovered Harlan Coben with one of his first novels Miracle Cure (1992) that captivated me. 

I didn't really know I liked thrillers until I read his books.

Then I read Play Dead (1991) which is deliciously frightening and decided to buy Stay Close (2012) to be sure to read a fascinating story [one more time].

I started reading, and couldn't stop.

I read it in two days. Harlan Coben's writing is still effective, accurate, and incredibly captivating.

He's got the talent to slowly put the reader under pressure and he subtly leads you on a way making you think you can find who's the bad guy or murderer [everytime I start reading his books I'm thinking: "this time, I'll catch the murderer before the outcome"] but don't get wrong, it's always a fail, he's too good ! 

- Sunglasses RALPH by Ralph Lauren - 

I let you read the synopsis, I have to go to the bookstore to find a new one ! 

"Megan is a suburban soccer mom who once upon a time walked on the wild side. Now she’s got two kids, a perfect husband, a house with a picket fence, and a growing sense of dissatisfaction. Ray used to be a talented documentary photographer, but at the age of forty he finds himself in a dead-end job posing as a paparazzo pandering to celebrity-obsessed rich kids. Broome is a detective who can’t let go of a cold case – the disappearance of a local husband and father seventeen years ago.

As the terrible consequences of long-ago events collide in the present, three people living lives they never wanted, hiding secrets that not even those closest to them would ever suspect, will come to realise that the past never truly fades away. And as each confronts the dark side of the American dream – the boredom of suburban life, the thrill of temptation, the desperation that can lurk behind even the prettiest facades – they will discover the hard truth that the line between one kind of life and another can be as whisper thin as a heartbeat".

PS: Master of suspens, Harlan Coben is New York Times best selling author. 

Discover his universe: here, and enjoy !