ALONE WITH MYSELF

10 or 15 years ago, being alone was related to be an old maid – with cats knitting on a rocking chair – or to old bachelor – even if men can easily pretend to be lady's men. Nowadays, being alone can be a choice and even sometimes luxury.

In the time of the simple use of a smartphone app is enough to make up for the physiological (and animal) need to feel less (physically) lonely for an afterwork, a dinner, an evening/night – or the four of them at the same time – it seems insane to move in through spite with someone, or with any nice body we can find (if we consider those things different).

Yes, nowadays, it's easier to choose people who you're going to drink a cocktail with, than choosing the cocktail itself.

If we don't want to, or don't have the chance to, or don't have the strength to, or don't feel up to begin something with someone, we still have the opportunity to be with someone on temporary contracts – for a few hours, a few days or weeks, with no exclusive rights but extendable if both parts are satisfied.

It means we can live on a "lonely" basis so-called "single life" and be "two", only when we want to. No traditional "couple" label and no couple way of life and habits.

It 's about being very happy to live alone and be proud of not needing someone special to do not-so-special things like going out for a drink, strolling along open-air markets, going to the cinema...

And if everything goes well, it could lead to something a bit more special like getting closer... and closer till forgetting we had nobody to had sex with – even if sometimes having sex doesn't require someone special either. But it's not the point today !

- Aarons Slim -

Yes, it is important to make a difference between living alone, being alone and feeling alone.

Definitions :

1 - Living alone : to live in an appartment without any roomate nor boy/girlfriend, living it as a choice and be proud of it, take it easy, having a certain amount of parties with friends, meeting friends of friends or strangers to have fun and keep busy, and really enjoy it

2 - Being alone : to observe the fact that there is actually nobody but us (after a party, for example) in this appartment, but being perfectly fine with it

3 - Feeling alone : to go back to the appartment after a big party with friends and the lousy dating of a stranger, observe situation n°2, completely forget about the good feeling experienced in situation n°1 (because of way too much drinking), feeling like we want to cry because we feel awfully-literaly lonely and lousy

If we normally don't go intentionally in this dispair situation (thanks to a liquid which was in olden days poets and writters' best friend), there is no reason to feel lonely because we chose it. "Choice" meaning getting used to whatever can happen when you choose to live alone: lonely moments are part of it.

Nowadays, this way of life is satisfying for lots of single persons (only 13% of them declare being "unhappy" about their situation) because they find a perfect balance between job and leisure, without incluying someone unique, regular and specific to it.

Nevertheless, it is important to notice that this way of life sometimes has to cope with difficulties... Particularly the sanctified act to build a family.

You know what I mean ! Sunday's lunch at Aunt's Lizzie, snacking at grandma's, or little Ben's baptism, the son of you friend Johanna, who by the way, has always spent her life being a couple since she learnt French kiss – in other words her 13th birthday.

These unformal meetings where you come alone and all the guests are looking at you half-compassionate, half-condescending, which makes you want to throw up the appetizers on their shoes, and ask: "So what about you ? Did you meet someone ?" or (if you live abroad) "Well, well, well, what about you ? You didn't come with your sexy Swedish girl/guy ?".

And then, you always hesitate over answering:

a. Aw... Well... No, not yet... Not really... Want some more champagn ?

b. No, I'm not really in a place where I want to settle down with someone so... I'm fine this way !

c. No but man, if you could see how I get laid, you would cry your eyes out and regret your marriage !

d. Do I ask you why you did not hire a nanny for your stupid kids who just ruined my clothes with their greasy hands ?

e. Auntie Lizzie, do I ask you if you and uncle Jack are still doing it ?

Because you have no other choice, you end up answering a. or b., and they often say this kind of conclusion (supposed to make you feel something but I can't define if it's feeling better or feelinf worse than ever): "Don't worry ! You'll find someone too !!". And then you can here a voice-off (the girl who's been married since her twenties, mother of three delightful children): "Yes but I THINK the more you look for it, the less you find it !". And in your head a little voice sounds like: "Yes but I THINK you're all pissing me off ! I am fine THIS WAY !"

After all, mentalities seems to progress more slowly than customs... 

We are the Generation Y, even YZ, and in 30 years, all those questions of couples, singles, will probably be completely pointless and out of date, like same-sex marriages.

As family patterns elvolve with our habits, will norms and standards still exist ?

More than 50% of single persons keep giving vague answers regarding the satisfaction of their situation, saying that "it depends".

My conclusion is there is probably some (good) reasons being a couple...